۞ Life is sexually transmitted.
۞ Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
۞ I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
۞ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
۞ In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
۞ Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”
۞ Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
۞ If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all of that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
۞ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
۞ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
۞ Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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