Insanity

Illinois just tripled the amount of time teens have to ride with their parents before they are allowed to get their driver's license. Meanwhile old people are careening around on sidewalks unrestricted and unchecked. Makes perfect sense to take care of the lesser half of the problem and not even address the other side at all. Another good job well done.

Advice From The Doctor

Trust must not only be earned, but also guarded and maintained. Never trust anyone who doesn’t trust you.

If someone betrays you once it’s their fault, if they betray you twice it’s your fault.

The bad thing about experience is that it only teaches you the stuff you don’t want to know. Experience isn’t what happens to people, it’s what people do with what happens to them.

Anything “too good to be true,” is just that, so skip it.

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

Don’t follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path, and leave a trail.

Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life.

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in a time of crisis, remain neutral. Get off the fence and onto a soapbox. Say SOMETHING damn it!

Treat others as you would like to be treated, unless they’re acting a fool, in which case it is perfectly OK to go ahead and treat them like the idiot they are.

Beware stupid people: They will melt your brain and make you just like them. Plus, the only thing more dangerous than a stupid person in a large group is a large group of stupid people.

Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Money does in fact make the world go around, never make the mistake of underestimating it’s power.

However money, credit, nor debt is everything. Control it. Don’t let it control you. Too many of us live and die by paychecks, bills, credit scores, and account balances. Those things simply can’t be the answer to the question, “What is the meaning of life?”

Have faith and trust in yourself, if you don’t how can anyone else? With enough confidence there is nothing you can’t do.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.

It’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.

Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

Other people come and go, they die on there own time just as you will. The only one you’ll always have is you.

Your own personal safety is the most important thing in any situation, think of it first and everything else second.

Never be scared to say “no” to anything or anyone for any reason.

If you were going to die soon and you only had one phone call you could make, who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting? Shit or get off the pot.

Don’t think to hard on your problems or they will consume you. Change the things you can change and don’t even worry about the things you can’t. And please don’t sit around and bitch about your troubles or problems, either fix them or accept them, then move on. No one wants to hear someone whining the same old sob story all of the time.

This life is a test, it is only a test. Had it been an actual life you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do. Never take it too seriously, because nobody gets out alive anyway.

Always know this: We are all actors in the play of life; our moods, environments, and situations may change, but not our characters. We are who we are and for the most part we do not change, we only act as though we have until the time comes for the real us to resurface. So don’t be fooled by someone quickly and drastically changing.

To attain true wisdom talk little and listen much.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. If we, both as a nation and as individuals, worked our bodies half as hard as we work our mouths, we would all live to be a hundred.

Search for the truth, it is the only thing that matters. See what is really there and not what everyone else sees. Read between the lines and don’t believe three-fourths of what people tell you.

Don’t believe all that you hear, spend all that you have, or sleep all you want.

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Always know your enemy and never underestimate him. The best attack strategy, in any situation, is always a step backwards. Make your enemy come at you and prepare for their arrival.

You always have a choice. Even if you have been abducted and have a gun to your head you have the choice to fight or go peacefully. There is always a choice.

A whole lifetime is like one single day. there are periods light and dark, but in all, what you do with it is your own choice.

The only two guaranties in life are that death will come, and that when it does you can’t take anything or anyone with you. So have a good time while you’re here, you won’t be for long.

I Was Just Thinking...

۞ Life is sexually transmitted.

۞ Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

۞ I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

۞ Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

۞ In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

۞ Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

۞ Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

۞ If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all of that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

۞ If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

۞ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

۞ Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Freedom My Ass

I'm on a rant. I think we're very quickly losing the rights and liberties that our ancestors came to this country to get. I mean we're making laws and passing judgments on all sorts of shit that has nothing to do with keeping people in line. By that I mean that I would assume that the original purpose for laws and amendments were to let people know precisely what was acceptable behavior. Don't steal shit, don't kill people, don't light shit on fire, etc.

However, in current years we've been consumed with abortion, drugs, and gay marriage. The first two of the aforementioned only hurt you if you opt for them, and the latter doesn't hurt anyone. I mean WHY are these subjects topic of political debate? They have nothing to do with ANYONE who isn't involved with them. To clarify; if you don't like what drugs do to people, don't do them; if you think abortion is murder, don't have one done; if you think that gay marriage is wrong, them marry someone of the opposite sex.

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean that other people shouldn't be allowed to do it. This is America, and our government isn't supposed to make PERSONAL decisions for us. That is the kind of thing that dictators and communists do. Laws, amendments, and the government as a whole should be for keeping people safe and sane, not for micromanaging their lives. I mean I'm a Christian, but I really think that the witches have it right: And it harm none, do what you will. I think we should return to the whole separation of church and state deal. Busch seems to have forgotten about that one.

Anyway, if abortion isn't an option for a 14-year-old rape victim, then what is? Hypothetical situation: A 15-year-old girl gets molested by her uncle and gets pregnant. She can't have an abortion because it is now illegal. So, with nowhere else to turn, she has the baby and puts it up for adoption. Nobody adopts it because it was born with thirteen fingers and half a brain. She drops out of school to try to take care of it and ends up homeless on welfare. Then, the baby grows up, gets elected, and we have another retard president. The mother loses, the baby loses, and the country loses. What is the up side of that?

The insanity of the whole abortion issue fails in comparison, however, to the insanity of the gay marriage thing. I mean lets talk about something that is none of ANYONE else's business. It hurts no one who isn't participating in it, nor does it hurt anyone who IS participating in it. So what the hell are we arguing about? The only ones who should be worried about gay people getting married are gay people. Moreover, they shouldn't have to worry about it either because whether or not they can get married shouldn't be a question. They, like the rest of us, happen to live in "The Land of The Free" and should be able to marry whomever they choose.

Marriage isn't the kind of thing that our government needs to worry about. They need to concentrate harder on getting us and keeping us out of conflict. They need to think of more ways of protecting us. They should go a head and work on the economy and maybe even give a little thought to the environment. I just think that there are a lot of things that we're not working on as hard as we could, because we're so concerned with making people's personal decisions for them.

I like Roseanne's take on "The War On Drugs." She says, "The War On Drugs is a war waged by rich people on prescription drugs against poor people on street drugs." I've never heard anything more truthful. Who's idea was it, by the way, to make it so that you can get just as obliterated as you want at a bar (where you pretty much have to drive home), but you can't get stoned?

Anyway, my question is when is the government going to start dictating what foods we can eat. Oh wait, they already do that in New York City, please refer to the "Trans Fat Ban." The point here is that they are definitely coming too far into our personal lives, if there is still such a thing. I think that if they are going to start deciding who can do what with their bodies and spouses, then they should go all the way. They should require government approval in order for ANYONE to get married or have a kid. Prescription vitamins and Tylenol. Pet acquisition forms. Relocation approval. A salt, sugar, and cigarette ban.

I could sit here and think of fun new ways for them to rape us of our rights all day. I just think that it's ridiculous that so many people have died in the acquisition and defense of our "rights" and "freedoms" and now they are slowly but surely disintegrating anyway, and at the hand of our own government. If any of us had a brain in our head we would call them on it. We would give them a little Civil Jehod. They sure don't have enough troops to continue policing the world and deal with another civil war. It kills me that The President doesn't know that major factions of the people that elected him feel this way. I mean he's listening to all of our phone calls and internet chat, WHY DOESN'T HE KNOW THESE THINGS?!!

Well hopefully either Hillary or Obama gets elected in two years and we won't have to worry as much. That is, of course, assuming that we make it that long without Busch getting us nuked.

Now that you've read all of this, post something, let me know what you think. You can even tell me if you think I'm wrong. I mean I'm not and if you think I am you're some kinda conservative republican Jew, but oh well, this is America and you are allowed to be a conservative republican Jew, just not a stoned or married gay one.

Drugs, abortion, and gay people are the Devil.

Crazyass News Article

Milton, Florida (AP) -- A 69-year-old man rammed a pickup truck into his ex-wifes home and then ran her and her 85-year-old mother down as they tried to flee, killing them both, authorities said.

Carl Junices Bryan, who was arrested Sunday, was being held without bail on two counts of murder. Sheriffs officials said Bryan drive his truck into Becky Ann Langfords home early Sunday, leaving a gaping hole in the corner of her house near her bedroom. Langford, 59, and her mother, Queen Victoria Franklin, tried to get away but Bryan chased them down in the truck running one down, then the next, in the front yard, authorities said. He planned it out, said Santa Rosa Sheriffs Office spokesmen Jerry Henderson. He said the center of Bryans steering wheel was wrapped in rope, apparently to prevent the air bag from deploying. Tire marks crisscrossed the front yard, a lamppost was flattened and two cars that had been parked in the driveway were smashed. I thought somebody just ran off the road and hit the (house), said a neighbor, Keith Hines. Then I came outside and saw the bodies. It doesnt make any sense. Hines said he tried to help the victims, but Bryan threatened to shoot him and chased him away in his truck. Deputies said he also tried to run down arriving paramedics. Authorities said that Bryan was arrested after his truck came to a stop nearby. According to court records, Langford and Bryan divorced last March.

Scorpio

The intense Scorpio is the eighth sign of the zodiac and best characterized by passion, longing, and emotionality. Scorpio is said to be the most powerful and extreme sign of the zodiac, because they deal with the process of fundamental transformation on all levels and possess the wisdom of discriminating awareness.

Those born under this sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. They will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and ends, and they are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world of black and white and have little use for gray. Their curiosity is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. They love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps. Their ability to see into things can sometimes be a curse, however, since they can take an insignificant matter and turn it into a huge slight. Others may find this overbearing (it can be) and even self-destructive, but Scorpios have tremendous regenerative abilities, like the literal scorpion can lose its tail and promptly grow a new one. Its best not to bet against a Scorpio since they can be surprisingly resourceful and manipulative. They have to have an adversary, since it makes the game that much more fun.

Scorpios are charismatic people. While they may appear serene on the surface, they contain a magnetic intensity and powerfully hypnotic personality, accompanied by a penetrating stare of deep intelligence. Scorpios dont miss much since they are highly attuned to the vibrations of others. Though they can lose their temper (and even become vengeful) when someone gets in their way. They are intuitive, probing, and very focused on knowing whos who and whats what. Those born under this sign are as emotional as anyone else, theyre just not nearly as likely to show it. Scorpios emotions are repressed, kept under cover. Again, those are secrets to be used another day. That said they are clever, perceptive, and always in the mix.

Scorpios strengths lie in their ability to confront and channel powerful emotions and profound insights. With their great tenacity and willpower, they are well suited for positions of authority, thanks also to their firm sense of responsibility and their strategic approaches. They tend to be suspicious of those around them, making them excellent investigators by allowing them to figure peoples motivations long before knowing their name. More American Presidents have been born under the Scorpio sign then any other in the zodiac.

People born under this sign also have many weaknesses. They can be blunt and demanding; and at worst they can become merciless, obsessive, and manipulative. They also sometimes show very destructive and vengeful behavior, which confirms their all-or-nothing approach to life. The scorpion itself is an omen of deadly vindictiveness.

"Know the difference between that which is within,
and that which is without.
Blindness and deafness are not just physical,They can be mental too."

Famous Scorpios

Pablo Picasso
Reza Pahlavi
Hillary Clinton
Theodore Roosevelt
Emily Post
Bill Gates
Truman Capote
Larry Flint
Marie Antoinette
James K. Polk

Roseanne
John P. Sousa
Maria Shriver
Marie Curie
Billy Graham
Joni Mitchell
Katherine Hepburn
Bonnie Raitt
Carl Sagan
George Patton
Demi Moore
Grace Kelly
Whoopie Goldberg
King Hussein
Prince Charles
Martin Scorsese
Danny DeVito
Prince R. Orsini
James Garfield
Martin Luther
Robert Kennedy
Votaire
Goldie Hawn
Rodney Dangerfield

Jamie Lee Curtis

Random Facts

More babies are born in the month of September than in any other month.

Leaf-cutter ants can build anthills 16 feet deep and an acre square.

Fort Worth, Texas, was never a fort.

The two most dangerous jobs in the U.S. are commercial fishing and logging.

There are more telephones in Washington D.C. than there are people.

If you tried to count off a billion seconds, it would take you 31.7 years.

The typewriter was invented before the fountain pen.

Women have a keener sense of smell than men.

Many smells are heavier than air and can only be smelled at ground level.

You smell better if you take several short sniffs, rather than one long one.

Ketchup was once sold as medicine.

Only about 5% of people dream in color.

The average cow produces 70,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

Toto was paid $125.00 per week for his work on The Wizard of Oz.

The human body has about 60,000 miles of blood vessels.

If you lined up all of the Slinkys ever made in a row, they would wrap around the world 126 times.

The average American man laughs 69 times a day, while the average woman only laughs 55 times.

An Academy Award Oscar statuette costs about $300.00 in parts and labor.

Neither rabbits nor horses can vomit.

A hibernating bear can go as long as 6 months without a bathroom break.

A panicking turkey whistles.

At last count, Minnesota had 99 lakes named Mud Lake.

Neptunes summer is 40 years long.

In Antarctica, sunsets can be green.

Put 23 people in a room, and theres a 50% chance two will share a birthday.

Alas, Babylon

At first Randy thought someone was shaking the couch. Graf, nestled under his arm, whined and slipped to the floor. Randy opened his eyes and elevated himself on his elbow. He felt stiff and grimy from sleeping in his clothes. Except for the daschund, tail and ears at attention, the room was empty. Again the house shook. The world outside still slept, but he discerned movement in the room. His fishing rods, hanging by their tips from a length of pegboard, inexplicably swayed in rhythm. He had heard such phenomena accompanied earthquakes, but there had never been an earthquake in Florida. Graf lifted his nose and howled.

Then the sound came, a long, deep, powerful rumble increasing in crescendo until the windows rattled, cups danced in their saucers, and the bar glasses rubbed rims and tinkled in terror. The sound slowly ebbed, then boomed to a fiercer climax, closer.

Randy found himself on his feet, throat dry, heart pounding. This was not the season for thunder, nor were storms forecast. Nor was this thunder. He stepped out onto the upstairs porch. To his left, in the east, on orange glow heralded the sun. In the south, across the Timucuan and beyond the horizon, a similar glow faded. His sense refused to accept a sun rising and a sun setting. For perhaps a minute the spectacle numbed reaction.

What had jolted Randy from sleep he would not learn all of the facts for a long, a very long time after were two nuclear explosions, both in megaton range, the warheads of missiles lobbed in by submarines. The first obliterated the SAC base at Homestead, and incidentally sank and returned to the sea a considerable area of Floridas tip. Ground Zero of the second missile was Miamis International Airport, not far from the heart of the city. Randys couch had been shaken by the shock waves transmitted through the ground, which travel faster than through the air, so he had been awake when the blast and sound arrived a little later. Gazing at the glow in the south, Randy was witnessing, from the distance of almost two hundred miles, the incineration of a million people.

Alas, Babylon
Pat Frank

The Trip

Time to go again

The second time around is never the same
Except for the feelings which first came

Its these feelings you cant deny
For all is told through your widened eye

At the border of reality with your toes on the line
You search the room for that one sign

Lights turn to stars in your minds cell
As it bends the bars the world built well

All things shimmer and then begin to shake
None of these things are things you can fake

With a twinge in your stomach
There are many things to say

So you sit back and enjoy
Cause your now on your way



The Crazy Place

At the edge of the universe
In a different dimension

There lies a place
With no name to mention

Once youre there
You havent a care
And your dreams lie in the wind

Colors swirl about
And you havent a doubt
That everyone there is your friend

As the smoke flies
The waves come and die

And the whole story is told
Through the look in your eye



Nothing More, Nothing Less

In and out
Up and down

Left and right
All around

Twinges, tingles
Giggles, laughs

Cubes and drops
Wholes and halves

Melting object
Wavy line

Have and lose
Search and find

Walk and stand
Sit and lay

Too much thought
Stay and play



The Road Home

Misty haze and stifled lies
Dusty dawn and dilated eyes

Weakened body and twisted head
Un-meant things already said

Past laughter lay
Nothing more to say

And time now seems to stand still

Absence of sleep growing more
Everything hurts with colors you flirt
As reality knocks at the door

You hope to soon find
Your body start to mend as you drift to the end
And leave your dream-world behind



What Must Then Follow

The cold, the damp, the light, the dew
All of the things that you once knew
Return again to bother you

Drained and stupid
Pained and shallow
You feel used up and mentally hollow

Your head spins as people talk
Time may fly but you must walk

For days and days this is your doom

As shadows of the night dance in the gloom

Zen & The Wisdom of Life

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.