More babies are born in the month of September than in any other month.
Leaf-cutter ants can build anthills 16 feet deep and an acre square.
Fort Worth, Texas, was never a fort.
The two most dangerous jobs in the U.S. are commercial fishing and logging.
There are more telephones in Washington D.C. than there are people.
If you tried to count off a billion seconds, it would take you 31.7 years.
The typewriter was invented before the fountain pen.
Women have a keener sense of smell than men.
Many smells are heavier than air and can only be smelled at ground level.
You smell better if you take several short sniffs, rather than one long one.
Ketchup was once sold as medicine.
Only about 5% of people dream in color.
The average cow produces 70,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.
Toto was paid $125.00 per week for his work on The Wizard of Oz.
The human body has about 60,000 miles of blood vessels.
If you lined up all of the Slinkys ever made in a row, they would wrap around the world 126 times.
The average American man laughs 69 times a day, while the average woman only laughs 55 times.
An Academy Award Oscar statuette costs about $300.00 in parts and labor.
Neither rabbits nor horses can vomit.
A hibernating bear can go as long as 6 months without a bathroom break.
A panicking turkey whistles.
At last count, Minnesota had 99 lakes named Mud Lake.
Neptunes summer is 40 years long.
In Antarctica, sunsets can be green.
Put 23 people in a room, and theres a 50% chance two will share a birthday.
Showing posts with label stoned thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stoned thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, August 23, 2007
The Trip
Time to go again
The second time around is never the same
Except for the feelings which first came
Its these feelings you cant deny
For all is told through your widened eye
At the border of reality with your toes on the line
You search the room for that one sign
Lights turn to stars in your minds cell
As it bends the bars the world built well
All things shimmer and then begin to shake
None of these things are things you can fake
With a twinge in your stomach
There are many things to say
So you sit back and enjoy
Cause your now on your way
The Crazy Place
At the edge of the universe
In a different dimension
There lies a place
With no name to mention
Once youre there
You havent a care
And your dreams lie in the wind
Colors swirl about
And you havent a doubt
That everyone there is your friend
As the smoke flies
The waves come and die
And the whole story is told
Through the look in your eye
Nothing More, Nothing Less
In and out
Up and down
Left and right
All around
Twinges, tingles
Giggles, laughs
Cubes and drops
Wholes and halves
Melting object
Wavy line
Have and lose
Search and find
Walk and stand
Sit and lay
Too much thought
Stay and play
The Road Home
Misty haze and stifled lies
Dusty dawn and dilated eyes
Weakened body and twisted head
Un-meant things already said
Past laughter lay
Nothing more to say
And time now seems to stand still
Absence of sleep growing more
Everything hurts with colors you flirt
As reality knocks at the door
You hope to soon find
Your body start to mend as you drift to the end
And leave your dream-world behind
What Must Then Follow
The cold, the damp, the light, the dew
All of the things that you once knew
Return again to bother you
Drained and stupid
Pained and shallow
You feel used up and mentally hollow
Your head spins as people talk
Time may fly but you must walk
For days and days this is your doom
The second time around is never the same
Except for the feelings which first came
Its these feelings you cant deny
For all is told through your widened eye
At the border of reality with your toes on the line
You search the room for that one sign
Lights turn to stars in your minds cell
As it bends the bars the world built well
All things shimmer and then begin to shake
None of these things are things you can fake
With a twinge in your stomach
There are many things to say
So you sit back and enjoy
Cause your now on your way
The Crazy Place
At the edge of the universe
In a different dimension
There lies a place
With no name to mention
Once youre there
You havent a care
And your dreams lie in the wind
Colors swirl about
And you havent a doubt
That everyone there is your friend
As the smoke flies
The waves come and die
And the whole story is told
Through the look in your eye
Nothing More, Nothing Less
In and out
Up and down
Left and right
All around
Twinges, tingles
Giggles, laughs
Cubes and drops
Wholes and halves
Melting object
Wavy line
Have and lose
Search and find
Walk and stand
Sit and lay
Too much thought
Stay and play
The Road Home
Misty haze and stifled lies
Dusty dawn and dilated eyes
Weakened body and twisted head
Un-meant things already said
Past laughter lay
Nothing more to say
And time now seems to stand still
Absence of sleep growing more
Everything hurts with colors you flirt
As reality knocks at the door
You hope to soon find
Your body start to mend as you drift to the end
And leave your dream-world behind
What Must Then Follow
The cold, the damp, the light, the dew
All of the things that you once knew
Return again to bother you
Drained and stupid
Pained and shallow
You feel used up and mentally hollow
Your head spins as people talk
Time may fly but you must walk
For days and days this is your doom
As shadows of the night dance in the gloom
Zen & The Wisdom of Life
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
16. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you are unique -- just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
16. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force--It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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